Happy Coffee Ending

Happy coffee ending

Happy coffee ending

I carry a little book around with me all time that I write various notes to myself. I also write down things I think I’d like to draw. Inspiration often does nto come when you sit down to do some art.
I wrote down ‘The Barrista’, being a massive fan of coffee made by good Barristas- It changed a bit though and turned into something a bit creepier than intended. Oh well.

I’m a long black drinker, I used to drink cappuccino but then my stomach told me that milk was evil so I had to give it up. I tried a soy cappuccino once, my only response is that it (and i quote myself) ‘Tastes like someone did a poo in a cup”.

I have a rule about coffee, which me and a friend made up after three solid days of driving (from Melbourne to Perth is a 4 day drive). That is, that coffee can be summed up by three words. You can find three words for any coffee. We discovered this at JJ’s Fine Foods, where we got a Roast Dirt Coffee, which has to be the worst thing I’ve ever drunk. On the other side of the coin is Yuppie Love Coffee – most of the Melbourne cafes serve their own version of YLC.  YLC is good bitter not burnt strong coffee that you enjoy drinking.

I’ve also drunk  Caffeinated Bean Drink (powered coffee, still not as bad as RDC), or Bourgeois Tryhard Coffee.  You get BTC in places that have a coffee machine that will serve you a coffee with your sandwich, but do not have trained coffee staff (eg, bakery cafes in Mitchim, for example).

Thankfully Melbourne has a coffee culture and awful coffee places tend to not do well because people have many choices. As Starbucks found out – they opened up everywhere at one point and then closed again. Melbourne went and tried it out and said ‘Are you having us on? This is not coffee!’. Watery and salty American style coffee is not something Australians are going to tolerate for long.

Actually…now I think about it, I lied, because I’d blanked this out of my memory till now. The worst coffee I think I ever drunk that was free, was made by my Nana. She put a spoon of home brand coffee powder in a cup, a spoon of home brand milk powder, mixed it with water, and microwaved it. It had a froth on the top that I can only imagine came from the screams of pain of all of the combination of those ingredients, rejecting each other. I don’t know what to call it. Brandless Scum Coffee? Nana’s Special Drink? Awful Filth Coffee?